I read a man’s obituary this morning. He wrote it himself. I didn’t know this man; yet, somehow he has managed to leave an impression and give me pause. In his light-hearted and heart-felt final message, he offered this quote as a parting piece of advice: “Dream as though you have nothing to lose, believe as though anything is possible, love as though your heart knows no bounds and live as though there is only today.” And then he asked, “In my name please pay it forward, be kind to one another and shorten your to-do list.”

I have spent a bit of time living with regret. Not necessarily for things that might seem obvious, but for little things too. Like, why didn’t I study abroad? Why didn’t I save more money when I was younger? Why in the hell did I major in Communications?

But really, what I’m pondering the most this morning after reading his obit is this: “Have I really loved fully?”  Have I given my heart completely and fully…selflessly…to another human being? I believe I have (and do) with my daughter. I believe I have not with everyone else.

When people are faced with death, you often hear them talk about love and kindness as the pearls of wisdom they wish to pass along. “Be kind to one another.”  “Love Deeply as if your life depended on it.”

I guess we can’t really control how we are loved. But we can control how we love others.  This all may seem a bit ridiculous, or heavy-handed….and it probably is.  I just know that I have spent a lot of time feeling stuck…feeling sad…sitting in my own emotional shit.  And…well, that just kind of sucked. Fortunately, for the most part, I’ve moved past all that.

And now that I am on the other side of it. I know this, I want to love fully.  I want to throw myself into love with reckless abandon. And I will. People have said to me, “Enjoy your daughter. Love her fully. Don’t worry about finding a “relationship.”  And those comments just piss me off. Of course I love my daughter. Of course she fills me up. And I don’t need to explain it further. Everyone who knows me knows without hesitation that she is the center of my universe. But why should I stop there? Don’t I deserve love? Of course I do.  And I am going to embrace it fully. Not because I’m lonely….and not because I’m incapable of living without it. Rather, because I am worthy of it. And I deserve and want to give love and to receive love from a grown human capable and worthy of the same.

If I only had one week left on this earth, I would want to know that I have given all the love in my heart to those in my life.  One of the greatest things about sharing my thoughts here is that I preserve them. And, from time to time, I will come back here and remind myself of how I feel this morning. That in the midst of a massive to-do list, I took a minute to think about how I want to treat others…and the love I want to share.

So, that’s the little inspiration Mr. Roger Cunningham, a complete stranger, gave to me on this Wednesday morning by way of his own obituary. So, if you were given only a week to live, what would you do? How would you spend your time? And what would you write in your own obituary?